I agree with what has been said.
You feel like this moment in time is going to last forever. You feel like in 5 years time you will be thinking and doing the same thing as now. You are in a rut of grief.
But if you take the sound advice that you have been given - get a hobby - get a part time job - do some volunteer work - stay in school - get a higher education or trade qualification - there is only one thing that I would encourage you to do other than that....
KEEP A DIARY.
Even just jot notes of what you have done, experiences you have had, fun times or moments of clarity. This way (in one year, five years and ten years), you can:
1. Measure your life growth - and BE PROUD!
2. Gain confidence in yourself and then
3. Set some goals, direct your life path and GO GET IT!
This took me a long time to do because I was always so worried about making other people happy that I didn't stop to think about or focus on what might make me happy.
You are young, you have prospects, you are clearly a thoughtful and caring teen. Put that to good use - on yourself. Live an authentic and inspired life. X